♥ Lil' Steps To Seventh Heaven ♥

Life is about Chances and Fate =)

2010-10-23T12:27:00.001+08:00

Last nite, I was watching a story entitled "Taking a chance on Love" on Hallmark channel. Soon I realised that when we fall in love, it doesn't come with conditions that this person that we love will be the best person in the world, or this person will be all rounded or in other words, "perfect". When we fall in love, it only comes with HOPE that this person will be our Mr. or Miss Right, our soul mate, and our life time partner.

I also realised that money, looks, status and reputation didn't bring long lasting happiness to us, but love does. Being loved by someone who we love is actually the most wonderful thing that can happen to us and the best fate that everyone is waiting for to be destined.

To my love, Izie,

B, we always say that we have lotsa weaknesses and lacks of things, but we didn't realised, because of our imperfectness made us need each other. Because you are my missing piece, my other half. With you, I'm perfect.

B, being together is not about just sharing the joy, but it also means we are together facing the challenges of life, the sorrows and pain, because you are me, and we are one. I know, it's not easy to share our pain with another person, especially the one we love. But when you tell me about your sadness or your worries or your problems, I felt that you need me to comfort you, to advice you, to be with you during your hard times. And that's not a burden to me, but a responsibility, something that I must do because I love you.

B, nothing is free in this world, in fact love and happiness comes with sacrifices. To gain happiness, you must find it, and maintain it. So with love, it won't be eternal unless you care for it, grow it and spread it off.

B, I never judge you in any sense. I only see your pure heart and your sincere love for me. How thankful I am to have you in my life. And seriously, I don't see anything wrong with you, and if anything happens in the future, I am ready to face it with you, no matter what.

And B, this is something that I will always says to my heart keeper, that I will be with you, till my least breath, God's willing. I love you B, I really do.

♥IzieEmy♥

♥

Reborn of the Pheonix =)

2010-10-20T23:49:00.001+08:00

OMG! Oh my dear bloggy, sorry for letting you died for quite some time.
I was damn hectic with my new world -Workinghood!

Hmmm, there were so much things happened in my life recently.
So I'm gonna sum up everything in this post, as the beginning of the my blog rejuvenation xD

Let's starts of with my study life - DUH, IT'S OVER! I'm finally graduated, phewh~
I had my convo on the 2nd of October, which was couple of weeks ago and for those who wanna check out the picccies of me wearing the g-robe,u can simply look on it in my Facebook photo album aites.

So when the study life ended, it's time for work.
I've applied for few positions in the government sector but it will take some time for the result to come out.
So while that, I went to find some jobs and I started off in Vads, as telemarketing executive for Chartis Insurance. But, after a month being there, I found out that I wasn't fit to make sales, as in convince ppl to buy stuffs from me. So, I searched for another job, and now here I am, in Melaleuca, as a Data Entry/Call Centre Associate.On the training anyways, and I hope everything will be just fine.

Next, love life? Haha, I'm in the skies, above the rainbow. I don't know how, but God had sent me an angel. Someone who loves me for who I am. Someone who means the world to me. Who's he? You can check him out via his Facebook page ^_^
Currently he is at his hometown in Sabah, having few weeks of holidays. Of coz, I am missing him so much but I am also happy that he is having a great time with his family there.

So far, that's all that I can update with you guys. Will be back active with my lovely bloggy here =P Till the next post, adios~!

♥

MTV World Stage, here I come! WOOTS!!

2010-07-18T06:37:00.000+08:00

Omg guys~~!!! I am damn happy. Today I'm gonna go to Ticket Hotline in TTDI to collect my passes for MTV World Stage 2010, woots!

Really looking forward for this event because my beloved Bill Kaulitz from Tokio Hotel will be performing, oh yes! *excited* Hahaha, I am dying to see him and his twin, Tom in person and now I got the chance and I am thrilled about it.

Oh, their latest single called Darkside of the Sun from their Humanoid album is totally awesome.Likey Likey Likey, I Loike! Click here for the video ^_^ Enjoy!

♥

The magical of "I love U" ♥

2010-07-17T01:28:00.001+08:00

I Love U. A very common phrase that we hear everyday.
But to hear it from someone who is less expected to say it to you, it's something called miracle.
I often hear this from a lot of people, but to hear it from him --- that's magical.
Why? Coz when he said it, his voice touched my heart, and my tears running through my cheeks.
Not because I'm sad, but indeed I felt very happy and thankful that he said that, because it's the last thing that I've put hope in it to be happened.

It was a very precious moment, whenever that phrase came out from his mouth, The feelings were indescribable.
The best things are those that happen when we least expected it.
All I know now, I pray to God so He'll make this fate lasts till my last breath.

B, I love you for who you are. It's wonderful to have you in my life and you completed it =)
And I hope I can be the best who will make you the happiest guy on earth.

By the way, I did wrote something about you in FB. Click here to read it^^ XOXO

♥

Congrats Putri & Chad♥ and.....It's official =)

2010-07-11T01:28:00.000+08:00

10th June 2010 was a meaningful day for my 2 dear friends Putri Narrima and Irsyad Arif who had held their engagement ceremony on the mentioned date. I wish you both most blessings from God and hope you last long ^^ Congrats again guys! You guys suits each other perfectly =)

As for myself, today, me and my boo agreed to make it official and revealed our relationship to all. It's such a beautiful weekend and it's full of love and happiness♥ And B, I love you damn much. It's amazing how your heart opened its door for a girl who is full of flaws like me.But I will try my best to make you happy, as happy as you make me now.I hope you will get well soon and get ready for the new semester ^^

So far, there's nothing that I wanna complaint about my life now, coz it's just perfect^^

Sweet dreams babies,toodless~~☺

♥

It's done...No mood...My boo is unwell ='(

2010-07-10T03:02:00.001+08:00

Gah! Done with the interview today. Overall it was okay and seems like they were satisfied with my answers, but one prob though, I have no transportation to go home if I am to work for nite shift. Unlike Astro, VADS didn't provide cabs for workers who on the last shift. So, in other words, if I get the job, which the result will be out next week, I might turn it down due to this problem ='( What to do, the place is quite far, I need to go out 2 hours earlier from my working time.

Maybe this is one of the reasons I've became so emo tonite. Another main reason that I didn't really have the mood, coz my B is currently ill. He said he will be okay, but still, I wish I live near him so I can take care of him T_T B, get well soon, I miss you so much T_T

Ok lor. Time to say buhbye~~ o/ C ya soon peeps!

♥

I...am...nervous!!~~ and I mish my boo =(

2010-07-09T02:19:00.000+08:00

OMG... tomorrow will be super scary, it's my 1st work interview since the last time I went to one which that was 2 years ago LMAO.

Okay let's see, resume -- checked. certs -- checked. okay need to do some notes and iron my outfit. Baju kurung will be perfect since tomorrow is Friday^^

Nervous and excited please. Wish me luck guys! I hope I get this job, if not I will be super bored at home zzz.

And broke, of course.Only moths coming out from my wallet haha.

So yes, need a job badly~~ and I hope I get this one.

In the meantime, I miss my baobei very much T_T miss the moments we went out and spent time together.

B, I'll try to visit you later, once I secure a job ya, hehe.

Thanks for your never-ending support and understands me,accepting me with my flaws.

Love you very much =)

K guys, let's call it a night.Time to crash on my bed.^^ Toodles~

♥

Happy Days~~♥

2010-07-07T20:01:00.001+08:00

Hye dudes and babes ^^ Since I was damn hectic in past 2 months, so I'm taking some of my free time now to update ya'll with my current condition now aites.

Okay, myself 1st. FYI, I've just graduated for my bachelor degree and currently seeking for jobs. The convo will be on October which I am very pleased becoz my mission to have my parents seeing their daughter taking the scroll in convocation will be accomplished soon, yay! And do pray for me so I will secure a good job =)

Next,my health condition. Hmm my sinus is kinda worst recently, suffering from morning sneezes and flu like everyday, sometimes my eyes will be swollen a bit due to the itch. But as soon as I get a job, I'll do further check up on it.So don't worry okay ^^

Best part, my love life. Haha, tell you what, my love roller coaster never stops running on those bumpy and scary rides. Well, I met few jerks on the way, which claimed that they knew me, understood me when they actually didn't =.= I know myself that I am one complex God's creature which not to be compared to a typical girl since I lived by principles and experiences which not many of us went thru. Will understand doesn't guarantee that you gonna really understand, in other words, it is not for sure anyway. So we need to be cruel in order to be kind at times. I can't take my heart into a risky situation again,coz I know it will be completely damaged, no cure. But, all passed, and now, I've found someone who really cares for me and loves me as I am, for real. Lovely? I feel blessed =) God gave us the second chance and I do hope, this will be the last.

To that someone, sorry that things didn't went as well as it started. Guess that God just wanna show me that you are not the person that I think you are. In my case, I need someone who believes in me, despite those people who wanna get close to me, I don't need claws to hold me down and stopping me from being myself. If you think that I'm wild and not to be trusted, suit yourself coz I'm not like what you think. And if by being independent and focus to whatever that I'm doing means to push you away as if I don't need you, seriously you are being lame and paranoid, coz this proves that you don't really know me. So I hope you will learn from things that happened and you will meet someone that has what you wanted in a girl of your dreams.

So, that's all for now. Will be scribbling more often later, chiao =p

♥

I've found the missing piece =)

2010-07-06T03:25:00.002+08:00

Love me without FEAR..

Trust me without QUESTIONING..

Need me without DEMANDING...

Want me without RESTRICTIONS..

Accept me without CHANGE...

Desire me without INHIBITIONS...

For a love that is so free, I will never fly away~

This quote is taken from a dear friend, Intan that she had dedicated to her boyfie.

Someone told me that no one will be this perfect.

But the fact that the person mentioned in the quote is not even close to perfect.

What he did was understanding her well, protecting her without controlling her,

trusting her to be on her own feet, and the best thing, he loves her the way she is now,

without putting hands in her life and stir things around to the way he wanted it to be.

A wonderful love, as I can see.

Day passes by, and I keep wondering, will I ever found that ordinary guy who will complete my life puzzle.

Well, now, I've got the answer, he was here all along, among the people who always care and support me in the thick and thin of my life.

Who is he? Someone who was once the love of my life, but due to hesitation and conflicts beyond virtual and reality, we went on our separate ways, but still, keep ourselves close to each other.

Well, did I ever mentioned that companionship and love are fated? Well, seriously we wouldn't know with who we will fall in love or with who we will get married to. The decisions are not in our hands.

So, fate brought us to meet each other, for the first time, in reality,eye to eye, after knowing him for quite some time in virtual world, and previously our real stuffs were only voices on the phone.

The feelings? Excited, unbelievable, extremely happy and blessed, and that was the moment, we felt connected, a real connection.

Seriously, I didn't expect him to feel the same way that I do, but he did. And everything changed. He drew himself to me, opened up to me, and the thing that I've waited for so long, a sincere confession that he loves me. Although we only had chance to meet twice before he headed back to his home town, those two meetings were the most memorable moments of my life.

For others, he might look like a normal, less talkative, a bit shy guy.But for me, who have known him, feels thankful to have his love because I know that not everyone has the manual of my brain and the blueprint of my heart. But he's one lucky person who successfully mastered this complicated creature -- ME.

Well, be it calls or texts,we are being playful, like small kids, teasing each other, having good laughs and sharing our moments and experiences, having long conversations at night, came up with various questions, from funny and ridiculous ones to serious matters. So far, we don't really have problems in communicating with each other, and seriously, the second meet with him was the starting moment of everything. The love grew and eventually both agreed to bring this relationship a step ahead.

I am thankful to God that destined us to be in love again, this time it's for real and for sure. I love him just the way he is, his flaws makes him a human, just like I am. And, insya Allah, if he is meant for me, then finally... I've found the missing piece. =)

♥

U r officially out of my life...

2010-06-28T01:33:00.000+08:00

You, of all people that I expected to understand me, my pain.
But you burned all that into ashes by doing something that hurt me so much.
I thought...things will be different...better...
But you have proved to me that there is NO hope at all.
For once, I wish you have use your brain not your heart, because heart can't think.
You washed out everything in just one night.
Your love hurt me, and the hurt change my love to hatred.
For this moment, I don't want to have anything connected to you.
You bring no good to me, no good at all.
All that you give me is your neediness that made me suffocated and helpless.
All you give is your doubt on me.
And tonight, you killed me, instantly.
Forget me, I'm dead to you.
And once I am reborn, I will be a stranger to you, and so do you to me.
Farewell.

♥

Woots Dong Dong Chang!! xD

2010-02-26T13:46:00.000+08:00

Hahaha, OMG this week I'm kinda high for Habbo badges. I've won 2 MythBunnies events and today I found out that my lion dance team won 2nd prize for Habbo Lion Dance Vid Competition =D . So if you wanna see the winning vid , click here and enjoy!!!

♥

Oh Busy Busy Busy =_= And Single Life is Fun =P

2010-02-22T04:38:00.001+08:00

Okay, for the time being, I am working my arse off to finish up this project once and for all, and I thank God, I still got few of my friends with me, finishing their projects too. Sudden a blow of spirit came into me and now I am ready to do this dam thing. Haha, pray for me guys.

How's life? One word - Fun! I've never felt so free like this. Do wadever I wanted, no one will be hurt, one will scold and no one will cry :D Love to mingle around, slightly flirt here & there, but it's all for fun ^_^

So ya, everything is in order , and I'm working on it :D

♥

Now I know... It wasn't just a crush =|

2010-02-09T15:55:00.000+08:00

Today,I saw him online and we talked and being loony as usual, till suddenly I felt something was wrong. He went silent and when I asked, he didn't wanna reveal it but then he given up and told me the whole thing. Then knowing that he was having a major breakdown...suddenly I felt pain in my heart, real heart, and the pain was so real, it was aching badly. Weird, coz the last time I felt this was when I broke up with that fk ing bastard. I dunno why I felt so helpless seeing him in such a mess. And I shouldn't feel this way either coz I like him, but I never thought it will be this serious.

I was struggling, I don't want him to know about how I feel, how much I care for him, coz I can't bear to lose him. I rather torture myself than telling him the truth, that I fell in love with him. What if he rejects me? What will happen to us? I didn't have guts to tell him, when I started thinking about the consequences.How I wish he knew that I love him and he makes me feel perfect, which I didn't expect this to be happening after having a bad romance with that one sole jerk. What should I do now? I'm caught in the middle of nowhere. Just praying to God that everything will be better soon, praying that God open his heart and his eyes so that he could see the one that care for him is right in front of him.

♥

Back to Single =)

2010-01-28T15:43:00.002+08:00

Huh? Wondering why? Let's just say someone is too coward to even stand up for his own feelings. Just a few teases from his friends, he chickened out and felt embarrassed. Ha ha, yes I am chubby, so what? You can be with me for the past 2 months, and now you just realized it? Oh, puh-lease... if this how you think, with your extremely skeptical brain, then off you go. My love is not for someone who doesn't have his own stand,and you are just too weak, too weak...you can't even protect yourself , and I won't even expect you to protect me =_= you really made me feel wasted. I hope you realize what you are putting yourself into now...

♥

The Return of the Retard =_=

2010-01-22T08:43:00.000+08:00

Ugh... I think the title says it all =_= I am wondering why some people doesn't really know how to stop. Few days ago, I found out that someone was vulgarizing in my tagbox. So I tracked the IP address and it showed that the person posted it from somewhere in Kuching, Sarawak (so the retard must be living or being sumwhere in Kuching la). Then, guess what, he actually pm ed me in Yahoo Messenger yesterday , which I also dunno what was his intention of doing that anyways.

The way he talked to me, as in he wanna find fault with me.You know, with all those phony nice yet sarcastic words. He can ask me to go to his blog, follow him in Twitter and so on. You guys know, it's been quite awhile since I made a decision to have him forgotten, but now he came back to annoy me, ha ha. And he even dare to ask me to grow up. Aiya, look who's talking la kid =_=

So to this retard, it's seriously a bad choice for you to appear and poking me in the arse, coz this time, you can do wadever you like in your blog, ur Twitter or anywhere else you can (haha he made such an effort to make me annoyed LOL) becoz it doesn't prove anything other than your retarded mind and shows that you are being so immature, come to me, finding fault like some kids and seriously, I don't have time to actually care about the shyts and craps that you did or will do, to annoy me. Oi, get a life please. Better go and study maths for ur PMR instead of making some shyts that I don't even care of. Wasted . =_=

♥

Two weeks of ultimate randomness LOL

2010-01-20T07:57:00.003+08:00

Okay, u guys must be wondering about the title of this post. But seriously, these couple of weeks, I was being ridiculously random. It started off with me spending my time to download all hits songs during my secondary school years. And that includes all the theme songs from those Columbia telenovela such as Secreto De Amor and Rosalinda. And during that time, it was the era of boybands such as Backstreet Boys, Nsync, The Moffats, Point Break, Westlife, 911, 98 Degrees and ugh.....too many if I wanna list it all here. But ya, as results, I downloaded nearly 100 songs from these bands haha. And I started to find old music vids of Spice Girls, a girl band like PCD during that time.

Then 2nd stage of randomness; I actually downloaded DVD ripped of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers the Movie ... seriously LOLs okay. Then this week, I was all over the animes and my focus : Naruto and Pokemon XD . Seriously , don't ask me why suddenly I act like this, coz I also dunno why. It's just all these old memories came back to me and led me into these random acts. Haha, but anyways, I had fun doing it =D

♥

2 Months & Counting =') Ich Liebe Dich, Ean♥

2010-01-13T00:59:00.002+08:00

I am happy to say that today is exactly 2 months since Ean & I attached. Lotsa happy and sad moments, those emo ing nites and crazily fun times that we went thru together, my love for him deepens day by day. Some might think that this is unreal, but I am sure that my love for him is real. Therefore, sayang, this post is dedicated to you.

Dear Ean,

As a typical gurl, I know that I have lotsa flaws, but I hope that I can give you the best of me and loving you as much as I love myself. To tell you frankly, the greatest fear that I am facing now is to hurt you without realizing it coz that would be the last thing that I wanted to be happen to us. I would rather be hurt than seeing u hurt or hurting you myself.

Ean,

I'm sorry that sometimes I gave you a hard time to handle me, especially when I felt trauma that caused by my previous relationships. I hope that I could forget it, but the pain, suffering, the memories of it remain as scars in my heart. Thank you for your understanding and being tolerant with me in this matter. I do appreciate it alot.

Ean,

Each day I went through my life with you in it, there's not even a moment that I feel regret for having you around. Despites your fragile heart, it makes me work harder to protect it, till my last breathe. I love each and everything about you, that makes you, you. And I would appreciate it if you can open up yourself to me and be true to me because trust, love and care are things that I need from you. In other words, I need you.

My Dar Ean,

I hope that our love will stay strong, despites of the challenges to maintain it, cherish it and treasure it. Thank you for loving me, taking care of me, giving me a reason to be strong, to stay alive in this world. You are the reason that got me back on my feet, every time that I fell down and feel like want to give up. I love you and I really do mean it. Happy 2nd month-versary of our love =')

♥

Emy Cullen ♥

2010-01-09T08:40:00.002+08:00

Despites that I love to be Mrs. Jacob Black, I have edited my pic in Cullen version. So ya, another rare face of me, as a vampire ^_^

♥

It's You =')

2010-01-02T14:50:00.000+08:00

These few days, I am on this one music video by Super Junior. The title is It's You (click here to watch the video in YouTube) . And I cried each time I watch it coz I know what this song means and the lyrics touches my heart as this is exactly what I feel for the guy that I am in love with now, Ean.

The link that I gave will lead you to the video which have the translation of the song. So, you will understand it too.

And to my heart keeper Ean, no matter what happens, as long as you love me, I'm yours. I love you more than you ever think of and I do hope our relationship lasts long. No matter what other people wanna say, I believe that I know you better than them. What I know, my heart had been stolen and ... Norago~

♥

What is LOVE?

2009-11-28T18:28:00.002+08:00

Love is a four lettered word,
That simply can fail our senses,
Make us blind, deaf, numb and even ridiculous,
But without it, our lives will be awkward.

Love is a powerful emotion,
A magical feeling that is seek by the lonely hearts
A blessing that often comes in silence,
And only will be noticed once it flees away.

Falling in love is regardless of everything,
Empty souls hunt for their missing pieces,
Like the love of Bella and Edward,
The union of two different worlds.

p/s: I've made this simple poem and sent it for Habbo's Big Bang submission for fun!! x)

♥

Another Habboian Day Out ~~ ♥

2009-11-21T23:05:00.017+08:00

Oh yes, today is a uber fun day for me. Earlier today, I went out to meet 2 of my Habbo buddies, Amira (my girlfriend =p) and Taza (my cute bro). Amira is one cute chubby gurl who loves glasses [coz she brought few pairs with her XD] and Taza is super duper cute boy, physically and in size =p. Okay,now lemme tell u from the beginning of our meet.

I met Amira at LRT Terminal Putra station around 1.45PM and we headed to Times Square. On the journey, we need to switch to monorail at Dang Wangi station. But coz of too busy chatting, we missed the station and realised it after next 3 stations =='' LOL. So we headed back to Dang Wangi and changed to monorail there. And guess what, we nearly missed our station, again. =_= Thank God I realised before the monorail door closed. LOL so blur can XD

Then while we were searching for Taza who reached TS earlier than us coz he was attending a cosplay event, we went for window shopping [and Amira found a new nerdy glasses for her =p].

It was funny when Taza saw me and Amira for the 1st time. He was like shocked and disbelieved with our looks. Then after few moments he realised that, he saw our pics without glasses HAHA! Both of us , me and Amira wore glasses today, we were too lazy to wear lenses LOL.

Okay, so then at 1st, we wanted to watch a movie, but it was damn crowded and the line was uber long so we scraped off the idea. Then we headed to McD to grab some food. After that , we continued our window shopping activities.Taza showed us the XXX shop where they sell condoms and XXX stuffs and guess what, he dared us to go in [don't worry, we didn't, ewww LOL].

Then in this one shop that sells things for party costumes and halloween stuffs, Taza did such a random act, he grabbed Amira's arms and tried to drag her into the fitting room ZOMG. He and his pervy thoughts LOL seriously random pls. And you know what,when I mentioned about he did to that to Amira only, then he grabbed my arm & said, "You also want ah?".Ok, he's crayzeh~~~ LMAO.

But seriously, we were having so much fun, going in and out the shops, fooling around with each other. Meand Amira agreed, having Taza around is so damn nice. He's like so hyped and outgoing till we feel like wanna kidnap him home already. XD [Fact: Being too cute will attract kidnappers LOL] Seriously, he will be on top of the list for our next day out . And apart of that, I was shrugged and sighed the whole day coz the "mastermind" of the day out didn't came and another friend of ours, Didi couldn't go out coz the mom said cannot, ugh. Sad Sad =(

But then, Taza need to make a move 1st coz he got things to be done, so he left me and Amira. So we both continued our "date" and window shopping. XD Oh yea, I forgot to mention, Taza came with his bro, who is kinda sporting and let Taza wandering around with us. Thanx ya! =p

Okay, back to the story. Me and Amira were doing normal girl stuffs, which was surveying for future stuffs to be bought LOL. We went from level to level, shop to shop and checked out all those cool outfits and it was like a sale, everything is so cheap pls. So, we agreed that the next time we go out , it will be our shopping spree haha. We had some ice cream in the middle of our exploration of TS. And I learnt that Mira didn't have a sweet tooth like me. Soz sayang, I didn't know >_<

So after a long day of fun, we got tired and decided to go back home around 8pm. But u know, on the journey back home, one of Mira's friend, Hanafie texted her,saying that he reached TS already. She shrugged coz that guy never told us that he was coming and it was too late for us, the gurls to stay there. Aiyo.So we went home, and I ended our meet with a big warm hug to Mira. Mira and Taza, you guys rox and made my day. TYVM and love u guys♥!

Here are some pics of us and the rest you can find it in my Facebook profile aites!

Me and da cute Taza!

Me and da cute Mira!

Best pic: A pair of Cuties♥

♥

Issit gathering season? o.O

2009-11-18T03:21:00.004+08:00

U know guys, this week alone.. I have 2 gatherings that I needa attend. A Habbo gathering & secondary school gathering (gurls' day out). Haha, busy busy. I am sure this will be lotsa fun, unless the 2 gaths fall on the same day...then I die...which one should I go? ='(

Anyways, last Sunday, I went DJ ing at a wedding function. Well, it was happening alrite, but the most interesting on that event, I met alot of twins ,identical twins haha. I think I had met 3 pairs, 2 gurl-gurl twins & a boy-boy twin. Nyze uh? Since I love Bill Kaulitz so much, I started to bump into twins , seriously. Weird.

♥

OMG!!! I've lost my voice =.= ...and someone's is a total retard

2009-11-16T03:58:00.001+08:00

Yah!!!! It's terrible. How can it happen? I was taking a nap, and when I wake up, try to call my sis, but nothing came out, shaitz. Not even a sound. I was so scared since I had a surgery around throat area before. So, I took 3 days leave from the radio. Haiz, wadafak la =.= Doc said , my throat stiffed. So no talking for 1-2 days. Just great.

Not enough with that, got one retarded person who didn't understand english. I said stay out of my life but instead of staying out, she came & intefered. Act pro as if I am such a dumb person. sheesh. wadever la. I don't give a fk ing damn about it, I warned liao wad. You still wanna poke me in de arse, then fine lor. Such a 2-face and acting innocent, wad la. U know wad u did la, no need to pretend de. Some people also knew. Acting dunno just as to stand up on ur ego, didn't impress me at all. You are so rock bottom la oi. Ugh, anything -ignored-

Seriously, I hate when people act pro as to show power only. Hello, I ain't a kid and I know how to read. Yes, I hate to be bothered, especially from people whom I've lost my trust on them. Your words ain't mean anything to me, so don't waste your time checking out on me, dam annoying sia.

♥

It's ma buffday~~~~♥

2009-11-01T03:02:00.001+08:00

OMG!! I am officially 24 years old sia... haha but no worries, like ppl said, I'm still young at heart LOLs. Oh ya, I tot I will be lonely.. waiting for the 12am. But suddenly, my uncle make a surprise yet simple party for me. He made some fruit cocktail with burgers for our lil' feast. And I had to put my radio show on non-stop hitz mode hahah...sorry pple XD family 1st , aite?

But yet, no presents...huhu...except in Habbo, so yes, thanx all for your wishes and pressies =)

♥

My Obsession♥

2009-10-31T11:59:00.006+08:00

Well, I'm talkin about a song that felt so connected to me. It's about a lover who are not sincere & heartless, each of his acts & words is like he is programmed to do it. The lyrics gives a very deep impression to me.

Automatic by Tokio Hotel

Automatic [echo x3]
Automatic [echo x3]

You're Automatic and your heart's like an engine,

I die with every beat.

You're Automatic and your voice is electric,

Why do I still believe?

It's Automatic, every word in your letter.

A lie that makes me bleed.

It's Automatic when you say things get better.

But they never...

There's no real love in you.

Why do I keep lovin' you?

It's Automatic counting cars on a crossroad.

They come and go like you.

It's Automatic watching faces I don't know.

Erase the face of you.

It's Automatic.

Systematic.

So Traumatic.

Yeah, Automatic.

There's no real love in you.

Why do I keep lovin' you?

Automatic.

Each step, you make.

Each Breath, you take.

Your heart, your soul.

Remote, controlled.

This life is so sick.

You're Automatic to me.

There's no real love in you. [x6]

Why do I keep lovin' you?

Automatic. (There's no real)

Automatic. (Love in you)

Automatic. (Why do I)

Automatic. (Keep lovin' you?)

Automatic...

♥

The rare me XD

2009-10-17T02:45:00.002+08:00

Why I say rare? Coz I only use makeup when I go for functions...even if go out also, I only use lip gloss and sumtimes eyeliner if I wanna be emo-tic =p So yes, this is the RARE me

Again, I just wish... =_=

2009-10-09T13:45:00.005+08:00

Ya ya ya, I know.... long time never update this blog liao... It's not that I don't want, but seriously I kept forgetting about it LOL... anyways, now I am in a period of lazy-ness...and if my parents know it, they sure kill me one..everything is not done, and the dateline is like very soon =_=

Summore, I am dealing with few matters that makes me tired of living... I can't see way out actually. I just wish I could choose my own way & everyone can shut their eff-ing mouth about it. I mean, it's my life, if I do mistake, I'll learn...but preventing me from doing it just making me feel outrageous.

Haiz, I wish my own family can understand me, but what they are thinking is their reputation only, go to hell with that can or not. I'm tired of it, and I just wanna escape. But can't, I need to go thru this, whether I like it or not...

Guys, I really need support. Really at the point of breaking down...I might look tough to some ppl, but frankly, I am extremely fragile. Those people who claimed that they love me,be it friends or loved ones; I am not so sure about it since their actions didn't show it. All I can see they come find me when they need me, then forget me when it's nothing, ya wtf rite.

So, now you see, I really need help, to be back on my feet. Coz at the moment, I don't even know where am I now. Help me...

Whoa~ I'm online o.O

2009-09-21T02:49:00.003+08:00

Woots ! It's first Raya and I can online here, at my hometown XD Thanx to Maxis (altho the services sux at times =.=) Okay, this raya...alot of things happened. Happy? Sad? I would rather call it weird and absurd.

Okay, let me tell you the worst part 1st.... my family & I went off at 1am and supposedly we should reach my uncle's house in 3 hours time. But guess what, I dunno what happened, but we stucked in the traffic jam for more than 3 hours =.= We reached the place at 7++am. Seriously, I was like wtf sia, suddenly all got same mindset -- "oh going back at 1am, sure road clear de" =.=;;

My raya eve, one word to describe it -- BORING!! =.=;; It was like 2 families only at the house, so less people and all my bestie cousins were not there. So, 1/2 of my raya eve, I spent it by sleeping, seriously. Like nothing to do, no internet, no PC-- the only thing I have is my fon & MP3 player. So yeah, texting and listening to music only. TV? So boring can? =.=;;

The raya morning was considered bad also...know why? 1st raya, and seriously I was in the bad luck. My baju kurung bottom got burnt!!! Damn that iron, suddenly went so hot =.= Luckily the burnt part cannot be seen coz covered by the top so I still wore it without people knowing it got a hole LOL. Anyways, my mom said that we will buy the new bottom since my baju kurung is the type that have plain top & abstract bottom so can be replaced by any kind of pattern with same colour tone from the top. Ok, wadever~~

So as usual we went to several houses nearby and then headed straight to Kemaman, which is the current main house for the family gathering -- a.k.a my ex BF's house =.= yup the guy I was with for 8 years. Well, to tell you frankly, our break up last time didn't went well. So, this time, I need to clear up my name since I heard he was upset with me. So we were having discussion, telling each other about our current partner, and he felt abit messy, which I dunno why. Still, I already accepted the fact that we are better seperated. So, me & him are just like other relatives.

Green packets? Actually it was quite unexpected coz I got less than RM30 eventhough I was thinking that I might not getting any at all LOL. Nevermind, coz something tells me that next year, I will be the one who give green packets XD

So that's what I can tell you all for the time being. More raya news in da next post aite. Signing off, annyoeng~~

♥

LOL Monthly updates >.<

2009-09-19T00:45:00.002+08:00

Yikes! Oh God....it seems like my blog is monthly updated already >.<

Soz guys...I've been uber busy lately so yeah, finally got chance (and mood LOL) to tell you guys the current situation now.

Ok, let's start off with my main goal, the damn theses. I am like drowning with it, trying so hard to make it done. No worries, it WILL be done, guaranteed. Well, I'm jobless now coz after discussion with my parents, they want me to finish this damn thing fast so they agreed to support my financial for these few months. Thank God! Eh forgot, I do have a job tho--tutoring a Primary 5 student. >.< Oh well, it takes only 6 hours a week & the pay is enuff to support my daily expenses la XD

My health? Well, it seems I am free from kidney stones now, thanx to the traditional meds which flushed it out. And I'm fit to do my work now. Kinda exhausted at times, but no big deal seriously.

My love life? Ugh it was super messy in the past one month. Got issues here & there, but eventually now it's stabilized back. However, it's kinda complicated to tell it all here but it did involved alot of emotions and tears.However, enuff saying, I am now happy, surrounded with all people who love and care for me. Thanx so much & love ya♥ dearies =)

Ok now here comes the best part----RAYA~~~ LOL okay, I sound like 10 year old kid already HAHA. But I did helped out with the preparations. The major thing was painting my granny's living room. Thanx to my uncle who did a "good" job, my granny was unsatisfied and asked me & my sis to repaint it >,> But it paid off. I got RM100 which inclusive of RM20 in green packet while my sis got extra RM10 coz she helped her with the raya biscuits. Still, I won't have chance to spend this money i got coz it will go to my mom as paying my debts to her =3= haiyo.

Ok lor, my mom is nagging already, coz we are going back to my dad's hometown in Kuantan now. I mean it, NOW..So, I will update you guys about the raya celebration...if I can online there okay >.<(do pray tht sum1 will bring a lappie & my broadband got coverage there) Chiaoz!!

♥

It's been awhile...

2009-08-27T16:40:00.004+08:00

Wowser... I felt like I've neglected this blog for quite some time. Well, abit busy in figuring out what to do with all this and that which kinda messed up my mind and heart. But no worries, so far I'm good.

It's just me & my boo is currently sick, having fever. Well, it's because both of us have weak immune system. But, it's just one of the norms.

I rarely play Habbo now. Dunno why but I am more on Myspace instead, playing Mobster LOL. I will on Habbo when I'm DJ ing.

Currently, I feel like making a new song clip. The song I chose? Cry by Rihanna. Practicing it now, and will record it soon. Found the instrumental already so just need to do my vocal clips to be mixed n wallah~~ one song clip done! :D

Work? Well as usual, tiring but what to do, I am on my own. My parents don't support me anymore.

Oh yes, I wanna take this opportunity to wish all Muslims out there "Happy Eid' Mubarak". Hope you all will utilize this month of blessings with good deeds & charity.

I wish I can fix all the broken friendship that I have now. So to those who considered my ex friends, I missed our time together. It's not I want to fight with you all, but by hurting me, you didn't give me choice, but to be away from you. I wish we can be friends again. If you want, you know where to find me =]

♥

Love is a journey of joy & tears

2009-08-09T17:56:00.004+08:00

Love in reality, is not even close to "happy-ever-after" story. Love is about 2 hearts, 2 minds, 2 souls become an item. Love is like coffee, has its own sweetness in the bitter taste. You will be suffer, happy, angry, sad, cry, laugh and depressed because of love.

I love him, eventhough it will hurt myself.
I care for him, eventhough it might cause my own life to do so.
I trust him, eventhough people around me try to create doubts on him.
I believe in him, even with the slightest hope that we might have.
Because in deepest of hearts, I know that he loves me too.

These principles make me stronger in going through the challenges of being in love. Undeniable, at some points, I just wish that I could give up. At times, I feel tired, and helpless. But, these are the tests, to see how much I love him.

The tears and joy that I felt while loving him is worth every each of it. No one can replace him in my heart. And dar, I just want you to know, you are the world to me & I love you ♥.

Now that I know... that I hate you for everything =(

2009-08-06T18:48:00.003+08:00

To be frank, this week is kinda worst for me. One after one thing happened, and now, early this morning, my instinct told me to check on this one blog (seriously this instinct is driving me insane, too much truth revealed), and I found out that one of my virtual ex-BF (well that's for him, but for me, virtually or reality, he still attached to me, coz I'm a human, not a programme, duh =.=) is a Hepatitis B carrier. And eventually he might be end up with liver cancer.

Now, I know why he keep saying "I don't like to be serious". Probably if he become serious, he will keep thinking of serious matters like this. And I was thinking, why he keep hurting me in the first place. Fight then peace then fight again. Dang, I never thought he really mean it. He told me once or twice that he is somewhat confused. And now, he find fault again with me, and we fought again. Haiz. I never like this. I really dunno what he wanted from me. Now, we didn't talk to each other anymore. And, somehow I feel like I hate him. (feel like dedicating the song "7 Things" by Miley Cyrus to him, haha) So, to you, well, you know who you are, and I know you will read this, so here's 7 things that I hate about you:

I hate that you played with my heart, saying that you loved me but you never did;
I hate that you never told me that you are sick;
I hate that you try to make me hate you by annoying and hurting me;
I hate you because whatever you do, I still can accept you as my friend everytime you said that you are sorry;
I hate that you find me when no one for you to talk to or accompany you,as if I am your last resort;
I hate that you always show like you never care about what I feel; and
I hate you because you made me believed that you loved me before.

So, now, if this is what you want, if you really want me to hate you, all you need to do is just ask me to do so. I know that finally you are happy now with the girl that you want. Although if you think that I'm being cruel to you recently, think back about all the things that you did to me, and think back if you were being more cruel than I am now. You are very pro in making people cry. But, still, whatever issit, I always pray for your health and your happiness with your beloved one, along with my other good friends. Amin~~

♥

Good Me? Bad Me?

2009-08-06T03:33:00.004+08:00

Alot of people didn't know, that I am also like other typical humans, having these good and bad attributes. Kinda more like 2 extremes. Extra nice @ Thoughtful and Extra evil @ Heartless.

So let us explore the both sides of me. =]

Extra nice @ Thoughtful me

If I love or care about someone, I would risk my life for him/her (seriously it happened, my parents scolded me, but I don't care? =P)
I will do my best to help my friends and loved ones in any way, as much as I could, to the extent that I neglected myself (yes, even my life)
My goal of life: to make those who I care and love happy and out of sorrows

Extra evil @ Heartless me

If someone hurt me, especially someone that I know and close to me, I won't care about him/her from that time onwards..I mean it, I don't care if he/she is dead also (Do explain yourself , or apologise if you find out that I am hurt by you, or this will be your fate)
I hardly forgive people (not that I don't forgive at all ,but it won't be easy) and it takes time for me to do that. It might take weeks, months, even years (try piss me off if you are patient enough)
I won't give face to those who hurt or do something bad to the ones that I care for (Yes, i will hunt you down, trust me)

******************************

So that's a little bit about my sides. Oh, come on, everyone will have the both sides, including myself. And seriously, I am not afraid to say that I'm imperfect and trying hard to be a better person. Love me or hate me, it's your choice coz this is ME =)

♥

This instinct...issit a gift or a curse? =(

2009-08-01T17:33:00.002+08:00

What a gloomy day. I always tell all my close friends and whoever is close to me, don't ever think to lie to me. It's not that I'm the one who search the truth, it is me who will be dragged to the truth. I wish I won't know coz most of the truth are painful.Seriously, hate it when it happens.

Hows this instinct works? Well, it will direct me or urge me to do things that I also dunno why I want to do it. It's like someone telling you to do things, and when you did it, all truth will be revealed. I used to appreciate this instinct but right now it driving me crazy.

I was playing around with a programme, and somehow, I've found out that someone is lying to me. But I never get angry coz maybe he has reasons to lie. And I was damn naive, so I told him that I know. The thing that I know, it's not that I was working on it, try to find the truth. It came out while I was playing around. I wasn't gonna do anything with the info that I got. Like I said, I was playing around with the tool and suddenly I knew all. More like an incident.

But, he thought I am meant to do so. My dear friend, is this how you trust a friend? Do you think I'm gonna harm you, stab you at the back? Dang it, I don't do such things to my friends la. For what? I told you so that I won't keep any secret from you, being transparent to you. That's all. Why you always think bad about me?I ain't gonna do anything with it ok. Just for God's sake, I found out about it. It's not I was really wanna find it. It's just revealed. Can't you understand? =.=

Love or Friendship?

2009-07-29T15:47:00.005+08:00

I always got this question from various people, will I pick love or friendship? For me, I will pick love. Why? Love is a very universal word. I love myself, I love my baby Fadz, I love my sisters, I love my parents and I love all my best friends, either it a guy or a girl.

Friends? We can get them anywhere, anytime. Friends come and go, but not close friends or true friends. They are LOVED. When it comes to close, best and true friends, there's no more friendship there, it's now called COMPANIONSHIP, a connection that is built with trust and love. These people are hard to be found, almost similar with LOVE.

Based through my experience, it's super hard to meet someone that you love, and he/she loves you back. Seriously dang HARD. But now, I am really thankful, that I've found him. Yup, that's my baby Fadz ^^ Dar, I love you~~

But, there are alot of people who misunderstand my love for them. Most of them , are the guys who I had loved before. Okay, I really want to clear this up, to those who I loved before [including my ex BFs], and those who I had a crush on you guys, my sentence here is obviously showed that was in the past. Right now, most of you guys are my good friends, being loved and care by me as my good friends. Coz there's only one love of my life right now, and my blog is full of him. That's my dar Fadz.

Why am I making this statement? Coz I hate to lose friends due to these misunderstandings. There is no way I can love 2 guys as my partner in the same time. Do be clear with that. There's only one king of my heart, that's the fact.

So, if you guys still want to misunderstand that I love you guys same like before, it's your call. I already explained it up there so yeah, up to you now. I don't wanna lose friends, but if you guys still think like this, I can't say anything anymore.Haiz. Why you guys make it hard for me? =.=;;

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A heartbreaking fact ... that I can't ever accept =|

2009-07-25T11:41:00.007+08:00

Do you guys know, if you care about someone - your family, BF, best friends; you will have this one instinct that connects you to them, as to feel what they feel, to have signs that something is wrong with them? For myself, this thing is very strong, coz I will be simply feel unease when something is happening to the ones I care for.

The heartbreaking fact...knowing that sooner or later I'll be losing one of my closest friends due to his sickness, enough to make me cry everyday. Everyday, counting moments that I can spend with him, it's hard coz to be frank, I am hard to be understood - my attitude, way of thinking, life principles. Whoever made it to figure it out all that, they will have special place in my heart. And now, I will lose one of them, dunno when but its gonna happen.

Preparing myself to face the fact? It won't be done. I am not that strong...and that's why I cry every time I think about it or it crosses my mind. These people, I love them so much because being a part of my life, regardless to how important they are to me, I love them all.

To this person, I just wanna tell you that I do care for you,
love you and I wanna thank you for being one of those who understands me well,
spending your time listening to my craps and whining, complaining about my life,
and thanks alot coz you never failed to make me laugh.
Your place in my heart,
together with my family and my beloved one.
Our friendship is one of the most precious possessions that I have.

To this someone, I want you to know that,
along with your family and everyone who knows it,
I will always be there for you and you can come to me anytime you want. No doubt.
You might not know that I care for you this much,
but you are one of the persons who knows me in and out,
even though I don't know how you did it,
but thanks for understanding me and caring for me too.
For the time being, you are the one who need my care and all people who loves you and that's what I will give to you.

****************************************

Updates =)

2009-07-21T13:03:00.002+08:00

Alrite, where should I start eh? Ok, study 1st. Now I'm in my final semester (really hope it's the end) and I am struggling with my theses, as usual. Meanwhile, to find extra cash, I am working in 7-Eleven in Taman Melawati, Ulu Klang, Selangor. Those who live nearby, drop in once awhile ya, hahaha.

Ok, next.My love life? Happily attached to my Boo, Mr.Fadzrin. Still teaching him tuition, and preparing him for PMR. Well, I bet he is nervous about it. I was like that too. But, I will help him overcome that =)

Well, social life? Er, I am in the good terms back with 2 of my ex-friends, Henri and Iskandar. Finally, I think they understood me. Guys, I just don't wanna be hurt again. Not gonna take that risk again. Somemore my hunny bee is always be with me, thanx dar ♥.

What else ya? Oh, my family? Well, they are all alright. Juin had gone back to Bangi for her 2nd semester in KPTM, Niena is er... preparing [I think] for SPM and the rascal Ninie is always in mischievous mode. Well, there are times I feel like killing them but this is what we called sisterhood aite?

So, I think, that's all for now.. will be back with more info =)

Book Worms~~~ =P

2009-07-11T03:22:00.005+08:00

Hahaha, I think Fadz & I are evolving to become bookworms LOL. Well, we went to the National Library yesterday. At first,we went there to find sources for Fadz's coursework. But somehow, Fadz found excitement being surrounded by lotsa books, so he asked me to go with him again today, just to chill out and diggin' our heads into the books there.

It's a good thing since he loves reading and that will help him out in the incoming exam this September. And I am responsible to ensure that he will pass with flying colours. Amin.

By the way, later in the evening, we walked to Taman Titiwangsa, a big park which located near the library. We sat by the lake for awhile before we headed home. We had a great time and I feel that we are closer every each moment. Here's a pic that we took while in the Library:-

***********************************************************

Ha Ha Ha!! What A Joke

2009-07-10T21:41:00.003+08:00

This is a story about a bimbo who wrote things about me, my love life and why I hate her.

Well hey there bimbo [you know who you are, and I don't want to dirty up my blog with ur fuckin' name],

Let me tell you why I hate you, and read this CLEARLY, IT'S NOT EVEN ONE DOT ABOUT MY BF.I hate you because you hurt my good friend which you don't even have goddam rights to do that. If you don't like him, why the fuck that you accept him for? Then easily dump him like a trash. Remember, stinkin' whore, what goes around...comes around. That's how karma works. And you ain't fuckin' escaping from it.

And you said I am jealous of you? oh, puh-leassse, if I die now & reborn also, there is no way I will be jealous of a cheap slut like you. What did you said? My BF liked you before? What I can see, whore..it's you who have been stalking him in Habbo when we were just coupled. You think I didn't see that? I heck care coz I trust him & that time I didn't know that you are a slut. But now I know, you are one fuckin' moron who think you are damn beautiful and you can hide ur slut-ness attitude by wearing hijab.

And who are you to tell me what's wrong and what's right? A God? Damn, you are not even qualified to say things to me, slut. Coz you know what? Whatever is it, I am happy with my BF and you can't do anything about it , dumbass. And I was thinking, why you're even fucking care about us? Coz you didn't got him? Ha ha ha, obviously.

So don't ruin the reputation of those gurls who wear hijab with your fuckin' act. Sheesh, get a life la moron!! You don't know with who you are playing now, whore.

****************************************************

English Lesson 1 - Idioms =)

2009-07-05T11:14:00.005+08:00

One day in my class...

Teacher: Students, today we will learn about idioms whereby we will use certain phrases to describe something or someone.

Student: Can you give us some examples, madam?

Teacher: Yes.For instance, "once in a blue moon" or "out of the blue". We will use it to describe an event or action that rarely happen.

Student: Er, teacher, there is no such thing as a blue moon.

(other students were laughing)

Teacher: Correct, nothing such, but that is the way we picture it. It's almost impossible to see a blue moon right?

Student: Teacher, is there any idiom that we usually use in daily conversations?

Teacher: (Thinking) Well, one simplest example is "no balls".

Students: No balls?!!! (All boys were looking down at their pants with panicked face then one of them named Matt was asking..) Teacher, how you know who don't have balls? *blurs*

Teacher: Haha, relax Matt. Don't worry. I won't be checking on you if you have it or not though. That will be super nasty.

Girl students: Ewwwwwwwwwwww, nasty.

Teacher: Okay, okay. Settle down, class. When we said a person, most probably a guy have "no balls", that means he is a coward or in other words, he has no guts to do the task that he should do. Why is it so? That "balls" symbolised men and men symbolised bravery. So without it, you are not considered as a man. Is it clear, class?

Class: Yes, teacher.(The boys look a little bit relieved and they continue practicing on using idioms.)

Teacher: Okay, before we end our class, let us revise what we've learnt today. Class, if something odd happen, what will we say?

Class: It's out of the blue, teacher.

Teacher: Okay, if that guy is coward, what will we say?

Class: He has no balls, teacher. (Followed by laughs)

Teacher: Good, class dismissed.

************************************************************************

Morale of the story:

English aren't made so that we can translate it directly from other languages. Do improvise your English knowledge (especially spelling and vocabulary) before you use it or you might end up being a laughing stock. =]

It's not wrong to be a beginner but it looks dumb to act pro while you are not.

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This is a fact! accept it

2009-07-04T09:39:00.003+08:00

This is true, it ain't a lie, I love him more than I love myself, I would rather die than God take him away for me. My dear friends, do pray for us while we will be strong and face all challenges in life together.

Dar, I love u so much♥

Pissed... I hate lamers =.=

2009-07-04T08:59:00.005+08:00

Dammit, I feel sooooo f***ed up. Yesterday, I was damn worried about my BF due to some personal probs [soz, it's too confidential] and I was having emotional breakdown. Plus, I was having bad flu due to my allergy to dust. Suddenly, came this guy, tried to advice me, as if he knew everything. Bullshyt la lamer. You never knew anything at all. Dare to sms me, asked me to take care of my BF and don't try to find another guy. Wad the f**k that you are trying to say? I won't be staying up the whole nite worrying about him if I wanna run into other guy. He still dare to say that he knew everything that happened.

To this lamer, STFU coz you are ain't needed. Stop stuckin' ur damn nose into people's business and ruining people's life. We are damn happy here & don't try to assume things with dicky things that you knew and conclude things as if you know everything. Buzz off!!

Latest updates :D

2009-06-23T23:29:00.003+08:00

OMG, it's been a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time since I update this blog XD

Soz, this blog went into ICU for awhile, now it's back to life indeed LOL

Okay, I will tell u guys what's going on lately..but nothing in tht MIA period coz it's abit toooo personal to tell..so yeah.. just gonna update u all with my current state :P

okay, here we go!

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Work Life

Well, currently I am working as tuition teacher. yup, teaching PMR & SPM students. and yes, it's home tuition. just started tho, got 2 students now and finding a few more [ owh well, I can't cater more than 5 to ensure best service :P ]

Well, I am teaching in English for subjects tht English based. And it's kinda my thing coz I was teaching English to my peers during my stay in the uni hostel.

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Study Life

This time around, struggling with my theses and I'm done with my degree. So yes, still in progress. Not much to tell tho :)

**************************************************

Love Life

Apparently, this is the best part of my life. Me and Fadz, hmm all I can say, our love journey is full of fun, happy moments and of coz....lotsa love too. Two days and we will have our 2 month's anniversary.

Tell you what, in my whole life, I have never love someone the way I love him, and the best thing, he loves me too. Some people will be disgusted with this, calling me mushy whatsoever, but what I know, I won't let him go and same with him too.

***************************************************

So, that's everything at the moment. And I am happy than ever and I hope everyone will be happy too =]

♥My HeartBeat♥

2009-05-15T22:01:00.004+08:00

This song is what I feel about my darling Fadzrin.

Sayang, ku ingin kamu♥

Romance - Ku Ingin Kamu

demi semua yang aku jalani bersamamu
kuingin kau jadi milikku
kuingin kau disampingku
tanpa dirimu ku hanya manusia tanpa cinta
dan hanya dirimu yang bisa
membawa surga dalam hatiku

ref:
kuingin engkau menjadi milikku
aku akan mencintaimu
menjagamu selama hidupku
dan aku kan berjanji
hanya kaulah yang kusayangi
ku akan setia disini
menemani…

sentuhanmu
bagaikan tangan sang dewi cinta
yang berhiaskan bunga asmara
dan membuatku tak kuasa

back to ref

di setiap arung gerak
tersimpan di hati kecilku
bahwa dirimu terindah untukku

back to ref

ref2:
selama ku masih bisa bertahan
selama ku masih bisa bernapas
selama Tuhan masih mengijinkan
kuingin selalu menjagamu

back to ref2 [3x]

selama ku masih bisa bertahan
selama ku masih bisa bernapas

********************

♥ Love of My Life ♥ My Mr.Right ♥ My Everything ♥

2009-05-14T04:06:00.007+08:00

Well, the question is answered. Out of all guys that I know, I fell deeply in love with this one wonderful guy. And I never thought I will be loved till to this extent.Still, the way we patched up wasn't that easy, alot of issues came up. Wanna know how it begins? Lemme tell you the story.

His name is Fadzrin, love to be called Fadz. We met in Habbo, few months back. He knew me from a friend and starting to know each other when he started tuning into my show. At first, I didn't really talk to him because I was attached so I didn't mix around with guys much.

Then not long after that I broke up, coz my stead got other girl. So all my friends was trying to cheer me up, including him. I realised that he tried to know me better since he asked my Yahoo ID and we exchanged our mobile numbers. But I was mad at him because he didn't picked up my call. I didn't talked to him for 2 days because of this. Then he came to me and apologised. He explained that his mom was near him when I called and he was kinda shy to talk in front of her, and that time was quite late. Since he apologised, my heart cooled off but he need to make it up to me by calling me. So he did and we talked for like an hour or so , while I was deejaying. And we became closer after our first conversation on the phone. Since that day, I had a crush on him but I kept it to myself.

So as time passes, we become closer till one day, I was curious abut his feelings for me. So, I asked him about it. But the answer, was rather disappointing. He said he love me as family, more like a sister. Deep in my heart, I knew it wasn't like that. Something was not right. So, I decided to treat him as family too (because currently that time I treated him more like someone I love).

So, I wasn't really talked to him after that, apart for being heartbroken. Then after few days, he came to me. Still in the cold air, we talked, and he finally confessed that he loves me. That time, I knew I was right. Well, it was his first time, so he wasn't sure of himself. He started to realised it when we were apart. I told him before that "You wouldn't know it's love till you lost it". And that's what happened.

So, 25th April 2009, the beginning of our love journey. From that day,we started to know more about each other, trying to understand better, accompanying each other everyday, sharing stories, laughs and tears, and I never felt happier than now. I felt our love is so strong till I can't live a single day without him. And the best part is, he felt the same way too ♥_♥

First date? Hehe, he was late about 35 minutes. Still, love it, we went for a movie with our best friend, Fie at KLCC. Two malay movies back to back. One action, one horror. The horror movie, we both got damn scared. Felt like jumping off our seats LOL. But we had a great time there. Fie went on his own after movies and I went with my dar. He accompanied me for lunch and we went to Kinokuniya to see some books. Frankly, he is a shy guy. I love to look at him, teasing him in a way. But, seriously, I've never felt so much love before. Being with him,the feeling can't even described with words. Like a blessing. On our way back, I accompanied him till his mom came and that was the end of our first date.

**************

Bye Friends Bye . . . You ain't worth a friendship :(

2009-05-11T20:14:00.000+08:00

Wow....it has been 3 weeks since my last post in here. Well, kinda busy for awhile tho. Anyways, last week was bad. I've lost 2 friends (they are still alive, no worries) because of their attitude.

Well, can you call someone a friend when he said that he will waste 20cents if he contact you? I was damn upset. Never thought that I have this kinda friend ever (he was my ex BF too =.=). When we keep in touch, I never care how much I spent on calling him or what. Haih...so frustrating. This is why I think he don't deserve my concern as a friend. Not worth at all.

Another one was my ex BF too. But this one, I don't really get him. I mean he can change his heart everyday. Last 2 days he said he loves me, then yesterday he said he love his classmate, and today he said he love the girl that made us broke up. WTF. He thinks loving someone is like changing clothes or something. I can't stand it, since ever till now, still playing with my heart. I can't stand his games anymore. Is he insane? Well, I think so. Bleh =.=.

I got promoted :o

2009-04-18T04:08:00.002+08:00

What a weird day. I was asleep for the whole day since I am not feeling well. Having fever, not feeling well. So, i went to Great.La and I saw someone tag my homepage. It was Daniel congratulated me o.O

OMG!! I got promoted to Senior DJ in http://www.great.la/ o.O

Then I went to check the news, then I was sure, it ain't a late April Fool. XD

So just now, I celebrated it by hosting game during my DJ ing session.

And I wanna take this opportunity to thank all who support me throughout my DJ ing career. Arigato gozaimasu minna san!!! ♥

Haih . . . I wish @_@

2009-04-10T05:45:00.005+08:00

I am wondering, why it's so easy to hurt but so dam hard to take care of someone's heart =.=

And I seriously dunno what the hell did I do till I got hurt so many times by alot of ppl.

I just wish they will learn to be abit sensitive so they can sense if something is wrong. Sometimes I think that I am the only person who trying so hard to satisfy everyone but in the end no one cares about my feelings.

I wish there's someone who always be there with me, sharing all our sorrows and joy, understands what I am going through, always support me & never leave my side.

And the most important thing, he love me more than anything in his life.

Oh where oh where are you , my Mr. Right? Or issit me who never realise your existence? o.O

WTF is going on? -.-!!

2009-04-07T20:47:00.004+08:00

Well, now... everything is changed. I dunno what happened but some of my friends were quarreling and I really dunno what to do. Feel like being teared apart.

Guys, I love you all, but please... don't make me a victim just becoz you guys can't get along anymore. I don't wanna be a part of your crisis. Coz I love you all, and I don't wanna take side.

Please understand me. I don't wanna involve, not that I don't care, but I don't wanna lose anyone in this time around.

Sorry if I dissapoint any of you. Believe me, I don't mean to.

First Working Day :D

2009-04-06T21:48:00.000+08:00

Hmm... how I felt? I enjoyed working at DD. Being around my favourite food WAAKAKAK

By the ways, got some new friends, got my hands on deco-ing the donuts & making those mouth watering croissant sandwiches. Best part, coffee beverages ♥.♥

Well, love it. Why? Coz this is one part time job that I do which really take me as part time staff. Flexible schedule, meal time, and if I am sick, I don't need work but my salary won't be chop off , just they won't pay salary for that particular day, that's all.

And I didn't felt bored coz there's always got things to do :D

OMG!!! TVXQ Song featured in Fast & Furious 4???!!! Awesome ♥

2009-04-05T20:59:00.001+08:00

Today my sis & I went to watch Fast & Furious 4. It was so awesome that there was not even a moment that I felt bored watching it. There's one scene when Paul Walker was chasing this 1 guy. I was so excited seeing them jumping across rooftops, like parkour thingy liddat. Then got background music & it sounded so familiar. OMG!!! It was Rising Sun, sang by TVXQ ♥.♥ I was soo dang happy that one of my favourite song featured in this superb movie! Click this link ---> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZ69jS5ie3g to see its MV. Love it =]

After that, we went to find white shirt and black slacks - my temporary uniform before I get the real one. Can't wait to start my job :D

A Mixture of Feelings [I dunno if I am ok with it] =.=

2009-04-04T18:05:00.008+08:00

Last three days had became typical days for me - spend time in online the whole day. Boring? Erm, abit but still ok la. Few things had happened so I will tell you guys abit of everything ok.

*****************************************************

JOB thingy

About the job, I rejected already after went for the briefing. Since I am finishing my thesis, there is no way I can cope with the extra workload from the job. Somemore, I was thinking of working so I will have some pocket money while I am finishing my studies.So, I decided to find some typical part time jobs & guess what, I will be working at Dunkin' Donut as part time crew starting from this Monday. On weekends, I will probably helping my uncle by being Dj at his functions.

*****************************************************

State of mind

Last nite was like a disaster, I was trapped in the confusion again, I called it "Half Heart Syndrome". Why? Coz half of my heart is contradicting with another half. I love him and right now he's with someone else. A part of myself don't really mind about it but another half is hurt by it. Coz by this confusion state, I was crying for nearly 3 hours, trying to figure out what to do. I know he treat me good, care about me but somehow I feel there's a gap between us. I dunno what causes it, but I do know that I need to do something about it.

So halves of my heart were having a war last nite, that's why I cried, coz I was trying to find the solution. And after talking to Bubu and Is, I think and decided that I can't give up on him. Why? Coz I remembered about my own love principle - "There is no condition in Love"

"When we love someone, we didn't put condition that the person should love us
back and be with us all the time. We love someone coz we are blessed and feel
happy by loving him/her."

So this is my perception on love, and yet I forgot about it for awhile. So, here I am, still loving him, try to give him the best that I could so he will remember that I always love him.

*****************************************************

A Question Mark =.=?

These couple of weeks, I've been disturbed by an anonymous person with mobile no. 012-xxxxxxx. Today I called up that number and a guy answered it. A very familiar voice. It was my ex BF, Ami, trying to act as his cousin, but epic failed. I recognise voices, especially those who had been very close to me. So I asked him why that he called and texted me. He said he was bored. Then I asked, why he didn't call his GF. He said he don't want (weird BF sia). A question mark really, coz he act like don't want to have good terms with me in front of our friends but at the back, he was trying to reach me. =.= Ok, whatever..

*****************************************************

p/s: Tomorrow, I gonna be a DJ for a wedding function ,kekeke :P

********

Is Baskin Robbins extinct? :l

2009-03-31T21:10:00.005+08:00

Today is 31st of March, which the day that I always waiting for. Why? Coz Baskin Robbins will have discounts on the ice creams. WEEEE

So after settling off with various bill payments, I went to KLCC to find the BR31 outlet but guess what?...It's not there anymore. haih. Then I went to Carrefour which another spot that I always goto buy the ice cream, and again.... it's not there anymore =.= Wth?!!! I want my ice cream laaaa :(

So, I was quite dissapointed that I didn't have my ice cream on 31st like I always did :(

=======================================

Ok,run off the topic now XD

Earlier today, I got a call from my new workplace. That guy was asking me lotsa question, like another interview, then he said he will get back to me tomorrow. After that call ended, I went to call my agent & informed her about it. She said that guy is one of the higher management, probably the C.E.O. Wtf??!!!

Then she said it's a good thing, coz most of the previous candidates were failed during 1st interview but mine is like going through alot of procedures [1 personal interview & 2 on-call interviews pls =.=] so she asked me to wait till 2moro.

Haih, I hate waiting, but never mind, I am prepared especially for the worst. Wakaka, wish me luck? :D

OMG I got it~~~~!!! -dance-

2009-03-30T16:18:00.005+08:00

OMG, I got it ~~~ I got the job XD ,well I've just received the call from my agent, informing me that I had been shortlisted for the job and I need to wait for their call as for them to have an appointment with me in order for them to hand me the offer letter, but anyways I got it, wahaha.

If I'm not mistaken, my basic salary will be around MYR2k and my working hours are in weekdays, 8pm to 5am. Yeah, you didn't see it wrongly. It's 8PM to 5AM. Why? Coz I am working following the US local time.

Wahaha...erk. But that means, when I start working, my weekday shows will be on daytime, no more in night time :( haih, what to do, DJ ing is my hobby [and my life also actually] but I need to survive for my living too right. So yes, on weekdays, I'll be DJ ing in the afternoon and weekends, I'll be DJ ing at night. But it hasn't yet decided coz ... I didn't start working yet. XD

So chills, once it is confirmed, I will announce it out. Meanwhile, I'm still ur nocturnal DJ in http://www.great.la/radio aites :D

Habboian Day Out Part 3

2009-03-30T15:29:00.002+08:00

Arghh...my body is aching badly :( I bet it caused by all the rides we went during our second day out. Well never mind, it was worth it though. :P

Ok, on that Saturday, due to the tiredness, Henri and I was overslept LOL. We should be meeting Haikal at Sogo around 10am but ended up waking up around 12++pm XD. So we called Kal, and agreed to meet at 2pm.

I arrived abit late , around 2++pm coz I need to withdraw some money at the bank. So, Henri & Haikal went to the game arcade 1st. Then when I reached there, we went for lunch since Henri & I didn't eat anything yet. So while eating, we chit chatting and deciding on where to go next. Haikal who urged me since Day 1, to go for karaoke in the karaoke box, had suggested that idea. But since there's a RedBox karaoke centre there, I persuaded them to go there rather than using tiny karaoke box in the game arcade [I hate that box -.-]. So they agreed, and it was worth it, really.

We booked a non-smoking room, and I had registered as a member, so got some extra values. Since it was during Happy Hour, we are paying for rm60 for 3hours plus unlimited drinks & tidbits. Wahaha! So, we sang for that 3hours but Haikal and Henri were kinda shy since it's their first experience [wahahah I am teaching them something new, ain't I?] and yes, I sang the most songs, duh. But seriously we were having a great time, laughing and singing, which drove me away from my problems.

So, that time, after finish karaoke-ing, we headed back to the arcade because those two guys still have tokens left unused. So, I watched them compete in the car race game. Well, for the 1st time, Haikal won over Henri. But once only la, coz the last round, Henri won back LOL.

Actually, Henri should be heading home at 6pm but it got prolonged till 7++pm and his mother rang him quite few times. So, since Henri and I were taking the same train, so we rushed to the station and left Haikal coz he was not sure where to go yet. [don't worry, he is okay :P]

So, all reached home before the Earth hour started, I think so. LOL. I was sure I did. And Henri too. But that was the end of 3 most enjoyable days in my life and I am sure 3 of us won't forget all the memories .

Habboian Day Out part 2

2009-03-28T22:06:00.007+08:00

As I have mentioned earlier, Henri and I brought Haikal to Berjaya Times Square. First, They accompanied me having my lunch at McD then we headed for Cosmo World, the Indoor Theme Park. Heheh, believe me. I never even go there although I am living in KL, LOL. First time also sia.

So, we played all games in there - Robo Crash (bumper cars), Supersonic Odyssey (roller coaster), Spinning Orbit and many more.Haikal was so hesistated to ride the roller coaster and the spinning thingy since he kinda afraid of heights. But Henri and I succeeded in making him go for those rides and that was more than once WAHAHAHA.

Anyway, there's one thing called Space Attack,whereby I was the only one who dared to ride it. HEHE. Coz that thing will turn 360 degrees vertically . Yup, you will be spinning and hanging upside down for sure. So, I am kinda daring & it was damn fun till I went for that ride twice WOOTS. We did played at the arcade for awhile and Haikal made me played that stupid dance game. So noob in that game pls -.-

But while having fun, there were some bad moments also. Got this one ride called Oort's Express which caused me and Henri having neck pain XD [and believe me, it's still aching]. The worst part, Haikal puked after riding the Dizzy Izzy. Well, in my case, the spinning movement of the ride made me remembered about my sadness and I cried after that. Henri who couldn't stand seeing crying people went away, not that he didn't care, he just can't bear with the sadness since he knows I am having some problems. So both of them tried to cheer me up by going for another roller coaster ride.WEEE.

We decided to go out from the theme park 4 hours and 30mins later and decided to go shopping but lotsa shops were already closed. That time its 9.30pm (so normal for shops in shopping mall to be closed aite XD). But then when we were walking, we bumped into bowling centre. So Haikal dragged me and Henri in.

We played 2 games - Haikal won the 1st game, I won the 2nd. Since this is the first time experience for Henri, I helped to teach him on how to play bowling. Well, undeniable, he is abit blur at first but rapidly showed improvement after that. Way to go Henri!! Not bad for 1st timer eh.

Then we went back home around 11pm++. I was kinda worried coz last LRT to my place is at 11.30pm. Thank God I managed to reach home., PHEW.

So that was the end of our Day Out part 2. Next, I will tell you all about part 3 K. :D

Heartbreak Hotel ~ This is a Heartbreak Hotel

2009-03-28T20:46:00.005+08:00

The worst thing that I was afraid of happened yesterday. I should have known that he came back just to hurt me again. How stupid I was, accepting him for the 3rd time, and again he ruined my heart. I should have known he is the biggest liar of all. As the result, I removed him from everywhere - habbo, YM and all. My heart ached like hell. What did I do wrong? Why he keep coming back? I don't know the answers for these questions. What I know now, there is NO WAY I will forgive him and accept him in my life. ISKANDAR JUST GO TO HELL PLZ -.-!!

Then while I was DJ ing in http://www.great.la/radio , he can PM me and ask me to be friends again. My foot la!! He never have heart issit ? He just broke my heart and dared to ask me to become friends without even apologising =.= I said "NO" like from the start till the end of conversation, then I try to figure out how to stop him. Then someone requested me to sing the song entitled "Wrong Number". So I dedicated this song to him [yup, I mentioned his name] with message "You can go to hell". Sound harsh? Well, i mean it. This is the translation of that song:

You call me at least twelve times a day to check,
If by chance, I'm on the line with somebody, you leave a suspicious message

Who would I be talking with at this time?
It gets so hard for me, when you make up a girl who doesn't even exist, yeah

You trap me in the words of love, the annoying scoldings pile up, turning into attachement,
I want to forget you; I'll make sure you don't appear on my phone again, I said

You got the wrong number
You got the wrong number
I'm sorry. You got the wrong number
So don't call me no more

As if you're my mother, you know my whole day,
You're always worried about who I am with, as if it's for me

You try to make an excuse by saying you were curious,
But the extreme restrictions just make love more painful,
What would be the good of hanging onto a hung up call?
The words I hear are clear, what to say

You got the wrong number
You got the wrong number
I'm sorry. You got the wrong number
So don't call me no more

You got the wrong number
You got the wrong number
I'm sorry. You got the wrong number
So don't call me no more

I'll erase it all; I'll change it all; the password which reminds me of the times of you and me,
I'll erase your ringtone which rang everything my name appeared on your phone, reset, reset

Wow, I think I'll go crazy, I'll appreciate it if you shut up,
I'm like a stupid fish in your net, can't it be enough like this? Cash
Your words of love scrape my skin, it becomes dim,
My head starts to hurt again, I'm starting to hear auditory hallucinations,
As if you're interested, as if it's for me; i'm just your item,
You don't have to be nervous by the word No, just let me go, say,
Help me so I can escape, say, we're already too far to start again

You got the wrong number
You got the wrong number
I'm sorry. You got the wrong number, So don't call me no more

I want to escape from you now, don't call me again,
Don't hold onto a person that has left, just let me go, just let me go

Then Mirr told me he was dam angry :P because of that. Good for him LOL. He said that I'm immatured. Look who's talking pls. -.= Whatever la, one thing for sure , there is no such guy named "Nik Danial Iskandar Shah" in my life anymore. Full Stop :D

Time to move on people. Seriously this guy is not worth even a dicky bird from me *nod*

2 in 1 - Interview & Habboians Day Out Part 1

2009-03-26T20:27:00.008+08:00

OMG, guess what ? I was overslept today. The interview should be at 10am but I woke up at 9am. And the interview place is dang far .zzzzzzzzzzzzz =.=

But thanx to my agent, she rearranged the interview with reason: I stucked in traffic jam XD
And seriously we hardly find the place -.- It was dang confusing, the address brought us to the wrong place.

Then when I went for the interview, its like dang hard, so many questions, but all I can see is my chances is like 50/50 because the interviewer leader said, "do you have any issues for training this weekend?"

So, I see there's still got hope for that job. But ouh well, if I don't get it, there like 1000 jobs I can find now, if I put effort to find it :D

Then after the interview ended, I had my lunch at BK which was Double Mushroom Swiss set, and that seriously made me drooling , so yummeh.
As in title, there's 2 events for today. Second event was the Habboians Day Out. What I mean by this?Well, actually, 1 of my Habbo friends named Haikal came from Pahang to KL with his family since his father have some matters to be settled here. So me & Henri become the hosts to bring him around KL.

Earlier this evening, three of us met for the 1st time at Sogo. Haikal looked like typical Malay guy, not so tall, just normal type. While Henri is fair, tall, thin guy, can considered as good looking but it's expected since he is Malay-Chi mixed blood. Before I met these guys, I did some shoe shopping for myself and my mom , hahaha salary day pls XD

Okay back to the story.What we did today was spending our time playing in the arcade, and I owned in combat game pls, but very noob in car race game. And for that game, Henri is the pro 1 de. Haikal is like a good competitor also, but depends on his luck la.
But, basically, we had great time laughing together, and it's for real. No more online, we are now real friends YAY!! :D

And tell you what, tomorrow we will go out again. This time we will bring Haikal to Berjaya Times Square, to experience the Indoor Theme Park. Well, for more details on this, check the post tomorrow K.

Hehehee peace out (^.^)V

The Journey Begins ~~♫

2009-03-26T04:55:00.001+08:00

Why it begins today? Well it's been 2 days since I quitted my job in Astro. And today, I will having my final interview for Customer Assurance Executive. I already passed the 1st & 2nd round.

Nervous? A lil' bit I suppose. But chill people. It's only an interview. :P

Let me tell you about this job I am chasing now. If I get this job, I will be handling customers from the States. The salary is quite satisfying though, compared to my previous salary.

And till this moment, I can't sleep.An insomniac is in the making wakakaka XD

Well, let's see the verdict :D

p/s: I miss my dar Is so much :( But at least he did online in the morning. Still, 2moro I don't think that I can meet him since the final interview need me to go out as early as 8am. haih.